death at a funeral
This morning, I was awoken by the urgent voices of my mum, sis and aunt who were in the living room. Nenek Uda passed away earlier when Cik Ati wanted to wake her up when she was leaving for work.
I had gone to bed early but spent the night surfing aimlessly on my phone so I barely had 3-4 hours of shut eye. We called the undertakers from last week and left for Tampines. It probably is a good thing everyone was still on compassionate leave from my dad’s funeral last Thursday. By sheer coincidence, her grave was to the right of my dad’s. Hello neighbour. The last time I saw her was at the same cemetery when she had arrived late because Cik Ati thought the funeral was after zuhr prayers.
I’m tired of being sad. I don’t even know where to start grieving. In the back of my mind, I know I’ve been putting it off long enough and it is time to go settle the bureaucracy and paperwork involved with the death of a parent. Ju, Sharyl and I are all in the same club now, the anak yatim club though by our age, we can surely deal with the death of one of our parents.
The funeral today managed to distract mum, sis and me for a bit. Tomorrow is the last day of leave that my sis will be taking. Then, it is back to the grind for her.
A part of me wants a new beginning some place else but I’ve always finished what i started unless you count that short stints at Discovery and Suria which were pretty damn shit.
Btw, i witnessed the bathing of the corpse and yup, don’t take things for granted. Even in death, there is biasedness. It isn’t one size fits all when it comes to the white cloth and cotton we will be buried in. There’s only so much cloth and i fear that when the grim reaper comes for me, I might not be able to fit into those loose cotton cloth that the lady undertaker has. Also, i hope I won’t be a burden to the living when they have to haul my large dead ass around. Gotta do something while I have time left.